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HELLO YOU.

/10:24 PM

i hate them. everytime i go down you have to make me so bloody depressed. stop telling me its good to go down for dance, to learn to take on responsibilities. hello?!?! like i dont get enough in school. telling me to treat it as a challenge. how many challenges do you want me to take on. M's more than enough. you just cannot comprehend the stress i face. everybody's discouraging me from going for dance. and you say the decision lies with me. you compare with joanne saying how she sacrificed because she liked dance. i wouldnt say i dont like it. i just dont like the way you guys see things and the everything there. and just PLEASE STOP BLAMING EVERYTHING ON HOCKEY! for god sake i swear the problem DOES NOT LIE THERE. because if i didnt have hockey i would have gone mad long ago. i dont disagree that i am very committed to hockey but so? that does NOT mean that i just keep to the hockey world and i dont see other things going on. spend a day in crescent and see just how overly i'm attached to the world as well. as if four years in crescent with all the shit i have to do isnt enough, i need more opportunities to develop my leadership???? omg and you are fucking wasting my time because all you do is rehearse for performance after performance and i am not performing at all this year so all i do is rot. you call that useful?? goodness. at least hockey can save my DSA. and stop thinking so lowly of me. my results aint that lousy okay. i will get to a jc, just wait and see. i dont turn up, you nag. i turn up you critisize me saying i lost my touch and everything. i hate it, i really do. plus my --- thinks dance is beneficial to me. hello?? i have heard enough naggings from laoshi, mstan, mr m, yapyap, and msgoh. telling me to make a decision. well i have, but nobody allows, nobody backs me up. what can i do. i am sacrificing my hockey already, just let me have my way. i want to study i really want to. its as if you think i'm satisfied with me results. but you know what, i never do cry in front of others because of my results. the only time i will cry in front of others is for hockey. just TRY to understand please. make the effort and i will be glad enough.

hockey cheered me up. its the only thing that can cheer me up recently. game was good. we won (: 1-0 and i scored (: and just laughing chatting and crapping with the hockers put me in a really good mood. ah well. take care ziya (: oh yes. prata cafe was good (: not the food. but the company. just laughing over everything. ah i miss the hockers alot alot alot.

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